Chapter 12 : I’m a Living Actor (12)

“…….”

“…….”

A long silence settled over us.

The person who seemed to be the Manager let out a scoff, as if he couldn’t believe what I’d said, but that wasn’t Seo Sangwoo’s reaction.

Seo Sangwoo just stared at me quietly for a moment, then nodded.

“Ah, yes…….”

He didn’t seem offended, more like he was just a bit flustered.

‘Flustered, huh?’

Just what did he normally think of Yoo Chaemin to be flustered now? Honestly, it might’ve been better if he’d just looked annoyed.

Anyway, the situation wrapped up like that, and after a short break, we gathered again.

When I glanced at Seo Sangwoo during the resumed rehearsal, he didn’t seem to have changed his mind much.

Still, he didn’t bother adding anything.

As for me, as long as I didn’t intentionally stop acting again, it’d be fine.

‘Well, I said what I needed to. He must’ve felt something, too.’

“Shooting!”

The sharp sound of the slate echoed through the set.

Fortunately, Seo Sangwoo didn’t stop acting this time.

The acting continued, more or less, but now a new problem had arisen.

‘…They really don’t look close at all.’

In the story, our characters are supposed to be pretty close.

The setting is that our families were friends and we grew up together.

But Seo Sangwoo’s awkwardness around me was showing through in his acting.

“Cut! NG! Let’s try to make Hyuk and Jihwa look a little closer, okay?”

Director Choi Younghwan spoke in a gentle tone.

“Yes, sorry!”

“Ah, yes! Understood…!”

Now Seo Sangwoo looked confused.

It seemed the shoot wasn’t going how he’d imagined.

Above all, it must be frustrating that his acting wasn’t going as he wanted.

The fact that the reason was Yoo Chaemin —me—wasn’t exactly pleasant for me, either.

But that was Seo Sangwoo’s problem.

My own concerns were more important.

[ Finish the first shoot smoothly and successfully.

Deadline: By the end of today’s shoot

Reward: 100 Karma, ???

If failed: -300 Karma or a trip to hell]

Here, the quest had “a trip to hell” on the line. If I failed, I’d end up in hell.

Clack! The slate sounded again.

The people playing students began to move, and Seo Sangwoo —right in front of me—started acting again.

“Aren’t you tired of this?”

“Huh? Tired? This is all about sincerity and heart.”

When I grinned, Seo Sangwoo —no, Lee Hyuk —scoffed.

“You really live such a troublesome life.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah. You’re a real handful.”

Next, Yoon Jihwa acts cute, saying, ‘Hyuk, am I a handful?’ She puts her hands under her chin like a flower, and Lee Hyuk grimaces and moves away.

‘…We’ll probably get another NG, though.’

Still, it was necessary to close the distance between Lee Hyuk and Yoon Jihwa , who never seemed to get any closer.

I quickly moved to Lee Hyuk’s side and linked arms with him.

I could feel Seo Sangwoo , not Lee Hyuk , instinctively trying to shake off my hand.

Deliberately gripping tighter, I stared straight at Seo Sangwoo .

Then I spoke.

“Hyuk, am I a handful?”

‘Come on, act, will you?’

Yeah.

After all, this was just acting.

Even if we’d only known each other for a few hours, once the cameras rolled, we had to become lifelong friends.

That’s what acting was.

Seo Sangwoo’s pupils trembled slightly.

The guy who’d been looking at me like, ‘What’s with this person?’ glanced around for a moment.

Then, I could feel the tension leave his stiff arm.

Seo Sangwoo scrunched his brows playfully.

It was Lee Hyuk’s face.

“What’s wrong with you, are you nuts?”

He yanked his arm free.

As Lee Hyuk started walking faster, I chased after him with a smile.

“You have to answer me, Hyuk! Am I a handful or not?!”

“Ah, go away!”

His voice sounded so genuinely disgusted that I almost broke character and laughed.

Since we hadn’t heard an OK sign yet, I jogged lightly after Lee Hyuk as he ran down the corridor.

“Cut! OK!”

Finally, the OK sign was called.

As I turned around, Director Choi Younghwan gave me a proud thumbs up.

I barely managed to hold back a laugh as I bowed my head to him.

As I walked toward the camera for monitoring, someone quickly passed by my side.

It was Seo Sangwoo .

On the square screen, Yoo Chaemin’s face appeared.

He looked at the students, who didn’t know what to do, with surprising warmth, and didn’t hesitate to encourage them.

He even approached a fallen student and asked if they were okay.

“Are you alright? You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

The moment I heard my own voice, I almost squeezed my eyes shut.

‘Seriously, this is the worst.’

My insides churned.

Realizing that was my own acting made me feel nauseous.

While acting, I could immerse myself enough to forget, but having to watch this mess with my own eyes felt like torture.

‘Is this really all I can do?’

A bitter sense of disappointment and self-loathing welled up.

It was a feeling I’d become all too familiar with—something I’d felt constantly while living as Myung Seungho and acting.

But……

‘Get it together. I can’t let myself get swept away by these feelings here.’

I clenched my fist tightly.

My nails dug hard into my palm.

The stinging pain brought my consciousness, which had been sinking into a sea of emotions, back to reality.

I fixed my gaze on the screen in front of me.

Nowhere on that screen was Myung Seungho .

There was only Yoo Chaemin , smiling like a flower.

It was me, but not me.

‘…That’s not me.’

Seeing that face, at least, allowed me to breathe again.

Clenching my fist tighter, I reminded myself of my goal.

Retirement Authority.

That was my only goal.

So…I needed to set aside unnecessary emotions and see this situation for what it was.

After repeating that thought to myself a few times, I looked at Yoo Chaemin on the screen again.

‘…My vocalization and diction are still a problem.’

Still, it wasn’t bad. Really, it wasn’t all bad.

‘I really do benefit a lot from looks.’

Even though there hadn’t been any editing yet, every cut looked pretty good.

It naturally drew the eye, and once you looked, you couldn’t help but focus.

There are plenty of good-looking faces that don’t come across well on camera, but this was definitely one of Yoo Chaemin’s strengths.

I planned to make full use of it from now on.

‘Things like eye contact, facial expressions, and gestures are a bit more natural.’

Compared to the level of my diction and vocalization, that much was clear.

Until now, I’d only watched myself on a phone camera, so I couldn’t be sure, but now it was obvious.

My acting ability had been limited by the company’s tricks, but the restriction wasn’t complete.

If I thought about it, it was only natural.

They could mess with my vocalization and diction, but it was much harder to interfere with my eyes or facial expressions.

Especially the eyes.

To tamper with that, they’d have to distort the perception of the viewers, not just me as the performer.

Unless, maybe, it was only showing up properly to my own eyes.

I glanced around, but most people looked like, ‘It’s not as bad as I thought.’

Unfortunately, it was hard to figure out now if perception was being distorted.

‘Still, there’s at least some kind of breakthrough.’

There were ways to appeal other than just collecting job points and raising my rank.

Of course, raising my job rank was the most important thing.

Above all, I wanted to quickly get rid of this sense of discomfort that crept in every time I acted.

Normally I was fine, but whenever I acted, it felt like something was stuck in my mouth and the strength in my stomach faded away.

Even when moving my facial muscles, my body would react differently than I intended.

It was extremely unpleasant.

Things I hadn’t felt when I first possessed this body were becoming clearer as time passed.

Anyway, for a first start, this wasn’t bad. Just in terms of acting, it was still the worst……

‘If I think like that, there’s no end to it.’

My standard was the acting Yoo Chaemin had done until now.

I’d managed to climb just a little above that…so it was a decent start.

It was a ridiculous compromise.

But once I accepted it, a strange sense of satisfaction came over me.

As I savored that feeling and stepped back, Seo Sangwoo’s face suddenly caught my eye.

“…….”

He was watching the monitor with a rather complicated expression.

He never took his eyes off the screen, sometimes tilting his head or furrowing his brows.

Anyone could see he wasn’t satisfied with his own acting.

‘Was it really that bad?’

Seo Sangwoo’s acting showed some promise, about what you’d expect from someone just starting out.

His vocalization was good, but he was still putting in too much effort, so it felt a bit forced.

His expressions and gestures still showed the telltale signs of a rookie.

Maybe he’d been overconfident in his acting. Or……

‘…No way.’

Was it because he’d acted with Yoo Chaemin and didn’t feel much of a difference?

A scenario I’d been trying to deny popped into my head.

‘The bad actor who stole my role. I’ll show them what real acting is on set!’

But after seeing the footage, huh? There’s not much difference? What’s going on?

‘…Is this really the situation?’

Even I couldn’t believe it.

What was even more unbelievable was that it wasn’t impossible.

Especially when I thought about how Seo Sangwoo’s Manager treated Yoo Chaemin .

‘Well, it’s none of my business.’

Seo Sangwoo would figure out his own problems.

If not, well, that’s unfortunate for him.

‘Time to get ready for the next scene.’

Pushing away unnecessary thoughts, I stepped all the way back.

The last thing I saw was Seo Sangwoo moving to one side of the set, following Director Choi Younghwan .

The rest of the shoot proceeded smoothly.

I don’t know what Seo Sangwoo and Director Choi Younghwan talked about, but Seo Sangwoo didn’t deliberately stop the shoot again.

Though I could occasionally feel his gaze sticking to me and a sense that he wasn’t fully focused, the shoot itself had no problems.

“Everyone, today was our first shoot, and you all worked really hard. Please get home safely!”

At last, the long shoot was over.

Only after confirming that the quest was marked complete did I finally allow myself a genuine smile.

‘Every day is like walking on thin ice.’

The quest’s difficulty was actually pretty mild: just act well and finish according to schedule.

But for someone who’d possessed a bad actor, even that wasn’t easy. You never knew what unexpected situation might arise.

Like today, when the other actor decided to go against me.

I calmed my startled heart and greeted the staff and crew.

As I went around to greet everyone individually, most of them looked a bit surprised, then gave me awkward smiles.

‘This…….’

I couldn’t shake the feeling that there might be rumors about Yoo Chaemin being ‘rude’ or ‘impolite.’

“Oh, Jihwa! You were really good today.”

Just then, Director Choi Younghwan patted me on the shoulder and spoke.