Chapter 15: Opening! Can Opener Pickup Event (3)

“Nine, our spot got taken!”

“I know.”

And don’t cry at times like this, you idiot.

It cuts down my thinking time.

As I quietly raised my front paw, the brown-furred one covered their mouth with both hands and nodded.

Good, good.

The results of my long training are finally showing.

“Sniff…”

But seriously, how long are you going to cry?

I kept a distance of about two orcas and observed the pink-dark girl.

She hasn’t noticed us yet… Hmm.

What should I do?

To be honest, she’s a bit of a questionable choice for our second can opener.

According to the three golden rules for choosing a good can opener, there’s no one more unsuitable than that crybaby.

For reference, the three rules for choosing a can opener are:

1. They must like cats.

2. They must have little to no “cat mom” tendencies.

3. They must be rich.

Out of these, rule number two is the most important.

It’s fine if they find us cute, but… a can opener turning into a cat mom is an absolute nightmare.

In a way, cat moms are even more dangerous than people who dislike cats.

Those who dislike us simply avoid us, but cat moms?

They press the “cat extinction protocol” button nonstop under the guise of “love.”

I’m not joking—that’s a fact.

The trouble cat moms cause always ends up coming back to haunt us cats.

That’s why I never set foot in areas where cat moms roam.

If I did, the people who hate them would also start targeting us cats.

Some might say that’s an overreaction, but this is a fantasy world.

A cat’s life is no different from that of a passing ant.

If you want to survive, you have to be calm and calculated.

We’re just fragile creatures that can lose our lives at the whim of others.

“Nine, should we go somewhere else?”

“Sigh… Hold on.”

Should I go for a quick walk?

A little stroll wouldn’t hurt.

That was the most logical choice.

I didn’t want to get attached when I hadn’t even settled down yet.

And if that girl got too attached and turned into a cat mom, it could cause major disruptions to the original story.

But…

But still.

Was it really okay to just leave a sobbing child behind?

Not as a cat, but as a human at heart, my conscience pricked at me.

It was the easiest and fastest solution, after all.

“You, go up there quietly.”

Leaving a crying kid alone felt a bit too heartless.

I carefully closed the distance.

My target position: right at her feet.

My mission: make my presence known to the invisible magician, Alice Darkmoon.

After taking a deep breath, I let out the softest meow I could muster.

“Meow~”

“Sniff… A cat?”

Lig—

Who in the world could ignore an adorable creature meowing at their feet?

Alice, who had been burying her face in her hands, finally lowered her small palms slightly and revealed her eyes.

Like twin amethysts sparkling in the light.

The gloomy, introverted, crybaby, pink-dark girl—

Her eyes widened as she looked down at me.

“Can you… see me?”

Of course, I can see you.

Even if you have no presence, we’re making eye contact one-on-one.

How could I not?

I wanted to make a snide remark,

But teasing a crying kid didn’t sit right with me, so I simply tapped her foot with my front paw.

“Meow.”

“Uh, I don’t have any food on me…”

Flustered by my response, Alice hurriedly searched her uniform pockets.

Sigh.

She seems to have some potential as a can opener, but she’s also the top contender for a landmine.

I pushed off with my hind legs and jumped.

Destination: Alice’s lap.

“Uh… huh?”

“Meow.”

She hadn’t expected me to sit on her lap,

So she froze in place, hands up like she was surrendering.

Judging by her reaction, she’d do well as an internet streamer.

Not that something like that exists in this world.

“Meow.”

Alright, start petting me already.

I once heard somewhere that cats are great for relieving depression.

So go ahead, pet me, and then leave.

I need to sleep.

Once the semester officially starts, humans will invade the garden, making it hard to get a good nap.

“C-Can I… touch you?”

Ah, so frustrating.

I was tempted to just speak in human language and scold her,

But I exercised superhuman patience.

If I spoke, she’d come find me every day saying,

“Kitty, today I…” or “Kitty, what should I do…”

And that would mean endless counseling sessions.

I’m not some therapist, and I had no intention of playing one.

So I simply scratched my neck with my hind leg and waited.

Until she finally made a move on her own.

Three minutes passed like that.

I wasn’t entirely sure, but it felt about right.

“Meow—”

Should I just grab her hand and force her to pet me?

Just as the irritation inside me climbed up to my throat, the hand that had been frozen in midair—punished for its owner’s incompetence—finally began to descend.

Slowly, it came down and rested on my head.

“L-Like this…?”

From the crown of my head to my back, the palm pressed down heavily as it stroked downward.

She was so tense that she applied too much force, making my head bow down involuntarily.

Has this girl never petted an animal before?

If it were Brown Fur instead of me, he would have bolted out of sheer shock.

“So… soft…”

The repeated strokes were rough.

But a little pain was a small price to pay for business.

This was the Jam Tiger mentality.

I endured the torture known as nade-nade—the relentless petting.

At least, until her hand nearly slipped under my belly.

“Ah…! S-Sorry…!”

Where do you think you’re touching?

Like a slippery mollusk, I deftly evaded her hand and put some distance between us.

“Meow.”

“S-So you don’t like belly rubs…”

That was enough of a big-hearted service. Now, scram.

As I lazily groomed my ruffled fur, Alice stood up and spoke to me.

“Thank you… kitty. See you next time…”

And with that, she left the garden.

“Nine, are you okay?”

“This much is nothing.”

“She was pressing down really hard—”

“I said it’s fine.”

I stretched out my stiff body and settled into my designated spot.

Since Alice had been sitting here just moments ago, the place was warm—oddly so, given the chilly weather.

“Nine, are you gonna sleep?”

“Huh.”

Cats are meant to sleep.

Unlike humans, our sleep duration is absurdly long.

We’re supposed to sleep over 12 hours a day.

Unless we’re hunting or handling other matters, our default mode is curling up and dozing off.

Of course, it’s usually just a light nap, so we wake up easily.

“But Nine, what if a lot of humans start coming here…?”

“No matter how dangerous things get, never use your claws or teeth on humans. If it hurts, just run away.”

Humans only find cats cute because we don’t pose a threat.

Or at least, that’s what they believe.

But if a cat actually harmed a human… the only outcome was extermination.

So the best thing to do was to discard the very idea of attacking them.

Maybe I should add this to the rulebook.

Now that I think about it, this is basic knowledge.

“Humans don’t usually come here unless it’s daylight. So if things ever get risky, just hide in the garden.”

No one would go out of their way to chase a cat just to harm it.

That should be enough to keep us safe.

Or maybe not—if we ran into thugs, we could get hurt.

Well, if that happens, I’ll just have to deal with it using my four-day-old Jam Tiger experience.

“Starting tomorrow, things are going to get really hectic, so get plenty of sleep today.”

From now on, the world of Academy Chronicle would begin to move in earnest.

If what’s happened so far was just a prequel, then now, the main story was truly starting.

I hoped the original plot would flow smoothly.

That way, I could enjoy my Jam Tiger lifestyle in peace and live out my days in comfort.

But.

But…

What if the original story got distorted?

What if none of the five were actually the protagonist?

What if the future went in an entirely unknown direction?

Could I really remain a bystander then?

That thought lingered in my mind.

But it wasn’t something I had to worry about.

What difference could a mere cat make?

I just needed to find a few good can openers and live the easy life.

Reaffirming this resolve for the umpteenth time, I closed my eyes.

Hidden away, waiting for evening…